Full Version: advice for the emotional eater
Hi...Looking for advice...I am an emotional eater. I am having such a hard time controlling it. I was so upset and stressed over this weekend about my kids I ended up going off program and not exercisning either. HELP !!!! kjudds
You have to find something to replace eating as your coping mechanism. Anything can work. Some simple suggestions...
> Write in a journal
> Go for a walk
> Meditate or pray
> Phone a friend
You have to really think about what your actions are costing you and what you're honestly trying to accomplish when you reach for food. Are you wanting to punish yourself? punish someone else? comfort yourself? distract yourself? treat yourself? are you lashing out? or do you want to hide? Identify your behavior as what it is... destructive and nothing more. It certainly doesn't help your actual problems! You'll have to come to terms with FEELING your emotions rather than stuffing them down with food.
It's scary to try and give up the only way you know of coping. Be kind to yourself and work on adding in a new good behavior before trying to give up the old one cold turkey.
> Write in a journal
> Go for a walk
> Meditate or pray
> Phone a friend
You have to really think about what your actions are costing you and what you're honestly trying to accomplish when you reach for food. Are you wanting to punish yourself? punish someone else? comfort yourself? distract yourself? treat yourself? are you lashing out? or do you want to hide? Identify your behavior as what it is... destructive and nothing more. It certainly doesn't help your actual problems! You'll have to come to terms with FEELING your emotions rather than stuffing them down with food.
It's scary to try and give up the only way you know of coping. Be kind to yourself and work on adding in a new good behavior before trying to give up the old one cold turkey.
QUOTE(LesterLou @ Jun 16 2008, 10:14 AM) 
You have to find something to replace eating as your coping mechanism. Anything can work. Some simple suggestions...
> Write in a journal
> Go for a walk
> Meditate or pray
> Phone a friend
You have to really think about what your actions are costing you and what you're honestly trying to accomplish when you reach for food. Are you wanting to punish yourself? punish someone else? comfort yourself? distract yourself? treat yourself? are you lashing out? or do you want to hide? Identify your behavior as what it is... destructive and nothing more. It certainly doesn't help your actual problems! You'll have to come to terms with FEELING your emotions rather than stuffing them down with food.
It's scary to try and give up the only way you know of coping. Be kind to yourself and work on adding in a new good behavior before trying to give up the old one cold turkey.
> Write in a journal
> Go for a walk
> Meditate or pray
> Phone a friend
You have to really think about what your actions are costing you and what you're honestly trying to accomplish when you reach for food. Are you wanting to punish yourself? punish someone else? comfort yourself? distract yourself? treat yourself? are you lashing out? or do you want to hide? Identify your behavior as what it is... destructive and nothing more. It certainly doesn't help your actual problems! You'll have to come to terms with FEELING your emotions rather than stuffing them down with food.
It's scary to try and give up the only way you know of coping. Be kind to yourself and work on adding in a new good behavior before trying to give up the old one cold turkey.
Wow..
I am an emotional eater too and that is really great advice. The idea of accepting that we have to feel the emotions instead of stuffing them down with food. How does eating a bag of chips relieve stress anyway.. When you think about it, it does not. Thank you for the wisdom.
Rita
I am an emotional eater too and that is really great advice. The idea of accepting that we have to feel the emotions instead of stuffing them down with food. How does eating a bag of chips relieve stress anyway.. When you think about it, it does not. Thank you for the wisdom.
Rita
I agree...stuffing my face with a bag of chips does not relieve my stress..it creates more. I want to thank you for your wonderful advice about finding something else to do other than eat my way through my emotions. Your right...I always feel worse after doing it. I am also sitting here trying to figure out why I do it...you gave me alot to think about. Possibly I am trying to sabotage myself for some reason...you see last year at this time I had lost 54 pounds. I went from size 18 to size 8....bought all new little, really cute clothes and then not sure why let myself gain back 27 of those lost pounds and am struggling taking them back off. It seems when I stay on track for a couple of weeks and I get in some exercise too and the scale starts going down...BAM...I start eating again. WHY>>>your right...that is what I need to figure out. Won't be able to keep those pounds off until I do. Thanks again for the great advice..I really do appreciate it !!!!! KJUDDS (Kathy) 
More of my story... I first joined JC in 1993 just before my wedding. I was at halfway at the wedding itself and looked great! I continued to work hard and long to lose another 25 pounds. I didn't look or feel good at that point. I wasn't exercising, so I wasn't fit or toned. I was scrawny, although I still felt like the fat girl in the room. I felt like I "deserved" to indulge with food after being "deprived" for so long. My new sweet loving hubby just wanted to do anything to make me happy, so he indulged me as well. We were living away from family, so the only thing to do for entertainment was to eat. Oh yeah, and we lived in Orlando where EVERYTHING is indulgent because it's designed for vacationers.
I also thought my life would be perfect when I lost weight. I thought my sex life would just go through the roof! Again, I was newly married... life has it's own rhythm and cycles. Let's just say, it didn't happen the way I planned! I bought cute new clothes, but there were cute clothes available in size 10 and 12 the same as there were in 8's. I didn't have solid motivation for staying at a low weight. Hubby loved me regardless. In fact, we always gain and lose in sync. I wasn't INVESTED in being thin and healthy.
After while, I got mad at nothing in particular, but I was going to "show them" by eating whatever I wanted. I'm a fabulous cookie baker, so we kept fresh cookie dough in the freezer so we could have hot cookies every night. As a married couple, we never mastered the art of cooking dinner, so we ate out often and unhealthfully! Bar food was a very good friend. After awhile, I didn't even remember being thin. I was just back to my old self. Food was what we did for entertainment and to numb the feelings of being isolated from loved ones. We had no motivation to be fit. It just wasn't important.
We've since moved and lost weight again. (I had packed on 100 pounds in our first 10 years of marriage!) What's different now? For one, we're very close to my mother. She has always been supportive of anything I did and tells me that I'm beautiful and brilliant all the time. When I was far away, she didn't have much to criticize. Now that I'm closer, she's more brutally honest. Still tells me I'm wonderful, but also points out when I'm getting a bit "fluffy" again. There's no hiding when you're sharing a fitting room with your mother! While it's its own emotional stress, it's also a relief to have the connection. We've also become engaged with social networks. I interact with people in many ways OTHER than eating. I actually have FRIENDS!! Who'd have thought!? Most of my friends are workout buddies too. We chit chat while we sweat!
While dealing with the death of a close family friend, I noticed that I was eating everything in sight again. I stuffed cookie after cookie in my face. It finally hit me. I wanted to feel as bad physically as I did emotionally. I didn't want to feel energetic and healthy. I wanted to feel like crp inside and out. Then I remembered how proud he was of my accomplishments. Now I honor him with my healthy habits.
Try changing the tapes in your head of what you believe to be true. Turn that "emotional eater" label into something else. Become and "emotional walker" or and "emotional dancer"! Don't limit your possibilities by where you are now. While it's important to understand where your weaknesses are, don't let them define you. You CAN change your reality!
The head game is the hardest part. Best of everything to both of you while you go through this part of the journey.
I also thought my life would be perfect when I lost weight. I thought my sex life would just go through the roof! Again, I was newly married... life has it's own rhythm and cycles. Let's just say, it didn't happen the way I planned! I bought cute new clothes, but there were cute clothes available in size 10 and 12 the same as there were in 8's. I didn't have solid motivation for staying at a low weight. Hubby loved me regardless. In fact, we always gain and lose in sync. I wasn't INVESTED in being thin and healthy.
After while, I got mad at nothing in particular, but I was going to "show them" by eating whatever I wanted. I'm a fabulous cookie baker, so we kept fresh cookie dough in the freezer so we could have hot cookies every night. As a married couple, we never mastered the art of cooking dinner, so we ate out often and unhealthfully! Bar food was a very good friend. After awhile, I didn't even remember being thin. I was just back to my old self. Food was what we did for entertainment and to numb the feelings of being isolated from loved ones. We had no motivation to be fit. It just wasn't important.
We've since moved and lost weight again. (I had packed on 100 pounds in our first 10 years of marriage!) What's different now? For one, we're very close to my mother. She has always been supportive of anything I did and tells me that I'm beautiful and brilliant all the time. When I was far away, she didn't have much to criticize. Now that I'm closer, she's more brutally honest. Still tells me I'm wonderful, but also points out when I'm getting a bit "fluffy" again. There's no hiding when you're sharing a fitting room with your mother! While it's its own emotional stress, it's also a relief to have the connection. We've also become engaged with social networks. I interact with people in many ways OTHER than eating. I actually have FRIENDS!! Who'd have thought!? Most of my friends are workout buddies too. We chit chat while we sweat!
While dealing with the death of a close family friend, I noticed that I was eating everything in sight again. I stuffed cookie after cookie in my face. It finally hit me. I wanted to feel as bad physically as I did emotionally. I didn't want to feel energetic and healthy. I wanted to feel like crp inside and out. Then I remembered how proud he was of my accomplishments. Now I honor him with my healthy habits.
Try changing the tapes in your head of what you believe to be true. Turn that "emotional eater" label into something else. Become and "emotional walker" or and "emotional dancer"! Don't limit your possibilities by where you are now. While it's important to understand where your weaknesses are, don't let them define you. You CAN change your reality!
The head game is the hardest part. Best of everything to both of you while you go through this part of the journey.
I too believe I can tag myself as an "emotional eater". I started Jenny 6 months ago and so far have lost 55 pounds. Another 45 to go! My job requires me to eat out very often. I am also a "social eater". My family and friends love to eat well and drink good wine. Everything in life that we celebrate also includes a great meal.
What I try to tell myself now everytime I have something delicious sitting on a table in front of me is that if I STILL want to eat it tomorrow, I'll have it then. It's not the last time I'm going to have that food in front of me, and the restaurant isn't going anywhere. Usually when tomorrow rolls around I'm too proud of myself for not endulging that eating that food is the last thing on my mind.
Something else that motivates me not to eat the things that I used to is thinking about how hard I exercise now. Why would I spend that 45 minutes doing cardio to work off something that took me a whole 3 minutes to eat? Instead I could instead spend those 45 minutes burning a pound off of my body for my weigh in next week? What a waste it would be to work so hard and spoil it for 3 minutes of satisfaction!
Don't get me wrong, every now and then I still do endulge. Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I tell myself that it's ok because most of the time I am healthy and on my plan. Either way, I truely feel that talking to yourself before you take a bite really helps!
What I try to tell myself now everytime I have something delicious sitting on a table in front of me is that if I STILL want to eat it tomorrow, I'll have it then. It's not the last time I'm going to have that food in front of me, and the restaurant isn't going anywhere. Usually when tomorrow rolls around I'm too proud of myself for not endulging that eating that food is the last thing on my mind.
Something else that motivates me not to eat the things that I used to is thinking about how hard I exercise now. Why would I spend that 45 minutes doing cardio to work off something that took me a whole 3 minutes to eat? Instead I could instead spend those 45 minutes burning a pound off of my body for my weigh in next week? What a waste it would be to work so hard and spoil it for 3 minutes of satisfaction!
Don't get me wrong, every now and then I still do endulge. Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I tell myself that it's ok because most of the time I am healthy and on my plan. Either way, I truely feel that talking to yourself before you take a bite really helps!
Hi y'all,
I've just joined JCD. I don't even have my foods yet but I've been schleping around in these message boards for about 3 weeks trying to make the decision to join. Now that I have, I also have to admit that I AM an emotional eater.
LesterLou, Thanks for all your good advice, I'll be returning to this site to review it occasionally. I never thought of becoming an "emotional dancer: but I think that would be a neat thing. I don't dance much now because of that extra gal I'm packing around, but I used to dance and loved it. So maybe I can do that both for a diversion and an exercise I won't hate
) Journalling seems like another idea I could embrace. Thanks again for the advance help you have been. Suedoodle
I've just joined JCD. I don't even have my foods yet but I've been schleping around in these message boards for about 3 weeks trying to make the decision to join. Now that I have, I also have to admit that I AM an emotional eater.
LesterLou, Thanks for all your good advice, I'll be returning to this site to review it occasionally. I never thought of becoming an "emotional dancer: but I think that would be a neat thing. I don't dance much now because of that extra gal I'm packing around, but I used to dance and loved it. So maybe I can do that both for a diversion and an exercise I won't hate
) Journalling seems like another idea I could embrace. Thanks again for the advance help you have been. Suedoodle
Hi there kjudds- I could never give as good advice as LesterLou. Her story is amazing. BUT-- I will say this.... I think to some extent all Americans eat out of emotion so you are not alone! As I was working towards my goal and even now in maintenance I constantly say to myself "I get happiness from things other than food." or "I find happiness in running, feeling good, etc. not in food." or "I am sad/lonely/tired/-- food will not help this feeling." I know this sounds terribly elementary but it has truly helped me. Also- I have the need to chew when I am stressed out. I used to turn to food. Now I grab a pack of sugarless gum. It really helps me. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Take care, Sarah
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.