Hi everyone,
Looking for some help here. I just want to sabotage this whole thing. I've lost 20 pounds in five weeks. I went to two Christmas parties this week -- the food wasn't the problem, it was the alcohol -- and consequently didn't lose any weight this week. However, that's not my real problem.
Losing weight has been so simple with Jenny doing all the cooking that I'm thinking I don't deserve such success with so little effort on my part. I'm not hungry for anything in particular (God bless Jenny's pizzas), but just stuff I know is bad for me and going to make me feel crappy.
Kinda hard to explain why I would want to make myself feel crappy, but I'm hoping you guys understand.
Thanks for the great support of this board!
Taunya

Why is it we want to make ourselves feel crappy? I totally get that. I'm a stress eater. At the end of a long day I (used to) find myself running for the closest chocolate bar. I knew I'd be mad at myself later but it REALLY helped and made me feel better short term. Then the whole next day when I look at my fat body in the mirror I feel crappy. And I did it to myself. Why??
I've been doing JC for about a month now. I haven't lost a lot but it has been a loss every week. I agree that it is very little effort in terms of making choices but that is the POINT! Let JC do the planning for you, but remember that YOU are doing the work. You think you've done "so little effort" that you don't deserve the credit? WRONG. You ultimately are the one choosing to put the JC food in your mouth instead of something else. You are doing it, not Jenny.
20 pounds gone is amazing! Don't sabotage now while you are on the right track. Keep coming to the boards for support. You can do it.

I went to the second holiday party of a series of three last night. One of the women at our table lost 125 pounds two years ago (had the gastric bypass) and looks amazing. Even dating again, brought one guy last year, one this year that she's going to marry. She's only 38 so being 275 pounds was ridiculous and she looks fabulous. I don't feel bad about things being easy. I like everything to be as easy as possible. Why create problems? You still have to open the packages and heat the stuff up. I don't get the ones that require much cooking like the chicken fajitas, too much work for me, but perhaps you could get the more complicated ones to make it a bit harder?

Hon, if you find you are sabotaging yourself and saying mean things to yourself, then I suggest that you try some therapy for a while. You have to dig deep and figure out what your payoff is in self-harming and staying the weight you are.
Feeling that you don't deserve things like weigh loss is a huge clue that you have other issues going on. Low self esteem is probably one of the issues.
You could also try a workbook like "Why Weight?" by Geneen Roth which helps you get to the bottom of the issues behind emotional eating.
Hang in there! You deserve to get the help you need to live a happy and positive life!

I know that one of the many reasons a lot of women sabotage themselves is that they are unsure (in their subsconcious) how they will handle all the new found attention that will be coming their way once they start slimming down.
Some people are on the shy side and don't like to bring too much attention to themselves, and losing 20 lbs does show on a person and you get comments, etc...
I know that when I used to be at the right weight for my height and age, I could not go on a beach alone or else I had men following me and coming up to me all the time. And yet there were more beautiful women than me on the beach (trust me!!!).
I was uncomfortable with that and so I made sure I never went to the beach alone back then...
After gaining a lot of weight after a bad injury, of course, that sort of attention dissapeared and I just blended in, but when I lose weight, I know this kind of 'attention' will be coming back. I'm older now and more self-assured etc... so I know it won't bother me as much as it used to bug me, but it's definitely something that can be a bother and a reason why we might be trying to refuse to lose the weight, that protection against the outside world.
Just some food for thought... there are many reasons why, and I'm not saying that this is your reason, but what I am saying is that the reason maybe at the uncounscious level, not something that you are aware of really.
So stop and think if perhaps you are feeling stressed about the thought of being slim and trim, perhaps something will come up in your mind that makes you unsure and sabotaging ourselves is a sure way to avoid dealing with that hidden reason or hidden stress.
You are doing so well, keep up the great work, and once you find the reason why, you can work on making that hidden fear dissapear.

Thank you so much everybody. You are all sooooo right. I've lost weight once before and it took me right into a lifestyle I wasn't proud of. I'm afraid now that my body is all men are going to see. Argh!
However, counselling is a great suggestion. I think it's time to deal with some of these self-confidence/body issues.
You guys are great; thank you so much!
Taunya

You know the new touchstones are awesome!! They address the whole sabotage thing. It gets you to sit down and really think about what it is that you want and you find out that it really isn't food. Most times it is not even anything physical. I have it and have watched it twice and listened to the cd all the time..... Try it you will like it!

I tend to sabotage at times too. It has helped that I bought the touchstones, and 28 days of motivation.
I do believe that you are probably having issues with self-worth, and am acting out of your sub-conscious (unconsious). Hypnotherapy is wonderful and can help with some of these issues. I wish you the best of luck. You do deserve to feel good about yourself.

Why is it so hard for us to put ourselves first, before everyone and everything else. Sure the food is easy to buy, heat up and eat. But you are making a decision to eat healthy and therefore lose weight. Don't you feel better after losing 20 pounds? Imagine how you will feel after losing another 20.....be true to yourself and try being as nice to yourself as you are to everyone else.
Keep the faith!
Patty

I'm copying my reply to another thread which talks about the Touchstones here so that more people here about it (not everyone reads all the subsections of this site).
Since Dietpepsi mentioned it, I figured I should copy my reply here on the Touchstones:
My Center just got the Touchstones this week (I'm in Calgary Alberta Canada). I went yesterday for my weigh-in and when the Director (she was out at the front desk) saw me and said "We have received the Touchstones" I went nuts and jumped on a box
She had received the training the day before and was just amazed at what she learned with the Touchstones program. She said that it would benefit a lot of people and I fully agree.
I did it last night and the conversation with my "binge monster" just blew me away also. Things were coming out that surprised me so much, but now I understand better what is going on in my mind. I cried while doing the "Compassionate oberserver" exercise - it sooooo opened my eyes in regards to the war that has gone on between the Restrictor and the Rebel in me - no wonder I never succeeded at losing weight before! sheeesh!!!!! This was such an eye opener and I thought I knew everything there was to know about losing weight... yeah right!
I HIGHLY recommend it also. Just from having done the DVD last night, I'm in a totally different mental place this morning and I'll be working with the CD as well.
My husband was in the room while I was doing this last night and he listened and I never thought he would get interested in this (he is slim as a rail) but indeed, he said that this could apply to other things than weight loss and he was quite interested and saw that this is something that will be an invaluable tool for me to help me reach my goal weight and maintain that healthy weight for life.
Now, nothing against men or anything, but you know that if a guy's interest is peaked by something like this, it has to be special... because men usually can't be bothered with such things!!!

I am brand new to Jenny but I totally understand where you are coming from.
Many times (on several other plans), when my weight begins to come off, if someone notices or complements me, (Or if I notice I'm looking particuarly good) I get totally freaked out and start to do things that will put the weight back on. Funny enough, the thought of losing more weight would panic me more, not soothe me. I hope that the structure of Jenny Craig will help me with this.
Being overweight is a complicated issue, and I'm sure many of us can agree that much of the time, it has nothing to do with food. Food may be the method, but it's not the root of the madness. Every person has a reason for why they are overweight. Some are medical, some are educational, and Sometimes we decieve even ourselves. My weight has served a purpose for me for a long time. For some of us, I think a lot of this battle is figuring out, HONESTLY, why we are overweight.
I have friends that are shocked when I admit to them that I haven't really wanted to lose in the past. The weight has been quite the insulator for me...it has provided an excuse for me to not do certain things in life...it has kept me faithful in my relationship...it protects me from attention that I may not know how to handle...it has punished my husband because we were having problems, I stayed overweight because I felt I didn't deserve to look good, etc etc and many other reasons. My mind can see through these "issues" now, but I am now struggling with "teaching this old dog new tricks", lol.
There are many good books out there on these issues, If you enjoy reading then I suggest you look through some of them at your library, bookstore (hello Barnes & Noble!) or Amazon.com. I don't want to recommend any even though I've read tons, because every one is different and I found that some would apply for other people but turned me off and vice/versa. You will know which works for you just by flipping through. Geneen Roth seems to have a few good volumes as a starting point.
I wish I could afford therapy, but I guess these message boards, counselors and a good book will have to suffice in the meantime. Hopefully for me it's like AA, the first step is realizing I have a problem.
Good luck with your weight loss; I hope we can both work through old thought patterns that hold us back from weight loss success. We deserve, and are capable, of more.

Diana

Isn't it funny that we think being thinner will solve all our problems, but it reallhy doesn't because our "problems" aren't exactly weight related - extra weight is just how the problems show themselves.
I can totally relate though. I was on another plan about a year ago and I reached my 10% loss, 16wk mark and lost 4 more lbs all in the same week, I just stopped - stopped!! I am still trying to figure out why I did that because believe me, I was nowhere near my goal weight. I don't know if it was boredom with the plan or starting to feel scared. My conscious says it's not the latter, but now I'm not so sure.
I also got the Touchstones and I think they are GREAT! I picked out the stone I thought applied to me before watching the DVD and it turned out to be the one that made the most sense for me (Priorities), and lately I've needed the Mindfulness stone. Anyway, I think anything you can do to uncover what's really going on will help you in the long run for your "whole" life and every aspect of it.

I tend to disagree a bit with Murt...
Please dont take it personally. But i do feel that when im thin nothing bothers me.
I feel wonderful..Nothing is a problem or nothing feels hopeless.
I have been extrememly thin and extremely fat. And I know that when Im thin everything seems wonderful..
Maybe its because im fortunate enough not to have "real" problems. But i do feel that when Im thin i can accomplish anything, face any fear or solve any problem. Being obese makes me feel like Im useless in so many ways.
So I do get the sabotage which is the issue here.. I have sabotaged my weight loss so many times.
I was on JC last year and lost 35 lbs in 4 months. I felt great I was so happy...then i dont know why, I sabotaged the whole thing!
This plan does work. This time Im doing It!!
Good Luck to all!!

My sabotage is my fear of success. I have lost weight many times before and when I loose 10 - 20lbs and I have 15 more to go, I panic and start slipping eventually gaining it back and more (the yo yo thing). This time I want to try real hard and stay on program. I have changed careers from retail to elementary school aide. Iam finding I need to be in good shape to keep up with the kids I work with!! Let alone my own who are 7 & 8.
I vow to myself to use the tools available to lose the weight all the while being nice to myself as I do. (that's a big order for me)
Kim

I can totally relate. Been there and done that countless times with the yo-yo thing myself. I'm hoping that this time it really does work!